Eddie is 5 years old and I feel like I should be following him around with a camera. He is so funny, but doesn't try to be at all. Here are some things he has said that have made us laugh :)
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Eddie: I HATE getting dressed in the morning!
Me: Stop using that word! I don't like it. You sound like grouchy smurf and I don't like grouchy smurf.
Eddie: Well, if I sound like grouchy smurf and you don't like him, then you don't like me. If you don't like me, then you hate me. So, you are grouchy smurf too.
Me: -___-
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Eddie: I want to eat chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs every day. But, if I do that, I will turn into Jabba The Hutt.
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Me: Eddie, I love you so much. You are melting my heart.
Eddie: *gasp!!*
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My 40something female friend: Hi Eddie, nice to meet you. How old are you?
Eddie: I'm 5. How old are you?
My 40something female friend: LOL! I am very old.
Eddie: You almost have wrinkles, but not yet. Don't worry.
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------While dad and I were out looking for a new school for Eddie---
Eddie: Mama, I have to pee!
Me: Ok, we just pulled up to this school. We'll ask if they can let you use the bathroom.
(Walking up to the main door at the school. The door is locked. We ring the bell and a snobby "gate keeper" opens the door slightly, pokes her head out and asks us what we are there for)
Dad: Hi, we are looking for a new school for our son and hoped we could get a tour.
Snobby Gate Keeper: Sorry, we only give tours by appointment.
Eddie (points at gate keeper's face): EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE ANY BATHROOMS HERE?!
Snobby Gate Keeper: (a little shocked) Uh...Yes...... I do.
Eddie: Ok, I need to use it.
Snobby Gate Keeper: Um, yes ok. Come on in.
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At our appointment for the school tour (2 weeks later)
Snobby Gate keeper, dad and I are talking. Eddie is on his iPad and notices an art frame on the wall, that includes real water trickling from top to bottom.
Eddie (asks snobby gate keeper): Is the water on the inside or outside of the painting?
Snobby Gate Keeper:
It's on the inside. Don't you love it? I love my water painting! It relaxes me.
Eddie: *touches the painting and gets his fingers wet. Looks at the lady, as if she tricked him into wetting his fingers*
You are wrong! It's on the outside *sigh!*
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Signing up as a guest at my friend's sweaty, stinky gym. I brought Eddie with me.
Big muscular gym rep guy: Ok, so you need to sign here and here...
Me: *signing*
Eddie: *Holding his nose, goes to the Big muscular gym rep guy* Excuse me! Do you have any
GOOD smells here?
Big muscular gym rep guy: What?
Eddie: DO YOU HAVE ANY GOOD SMELLS HERE!???
Big muscular gym rep guy: I don't understand what he is asking me.
Me: Nothing *giggle* just ignore him. Ok LOL he said "Do you have any good smells here" LOL LOL LOL!
Big muscular gym rep guy: Oh, lol...no we don't. Sorry, little man.
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Driving in the car with Zero.
(Zero is in the back seat with Eddie, sticking his head out the window. Zero sees a dog and leans forward to sniff it.
Eddie: Zero! Don't stick your head out the window too far. We don't want to lose you!
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